You may have noticed two things: 1) this post is up late and 2) my posts in general have been sporadic. Truthfully, that is unacceptable. I genuinely love to blog and connect with my readers and I feel horrible when something as straight forward as getting a post up doesn't happen.
It also affects me because it's almost like a sign of defeat. I couldn't manage all of my responsibilities so the blog suffers. This is something I struggle with because I would like everyone around me to believe that I've got it all together. But the truth is my apartment is a mess, I'm worried about school and by the end of the day I'm too exhausted to even think about other things. I had hoped that less responsibilities meant less stress, but the truth is that I've just placed the stress into other projects.
At what point will I truly have it all together? Is that even a possibility? What does "it" even mean?
These are the thoughts that race through my mind.
I guess this post is part apology part self-actualization. I've got a lot of work to do.